Sometimes, when I'm at my lowest point, I'd constantly go thru my Facebook friend list or BBM list to look for a non-judgemental person and a trustworthy one. I would go back and forth until a point I just don't know what I'm doing. One day, it got me thinking.. such person does not exist. Never! Even if they do, at least not on my friends list. haha It's veryyyyyyyyy rare to find that one person who could tell you the truth without hurting you even more. Of course at this point you're asking, why not just talk to your husband? Oh yes, I do talk to my Hubby. But in his eyes, I am almost perfect. How can I not be when I've got tears and sadness in my eyes? Would he dare to turn around and say, "it's your fault!" Hahaha He knows what will definitely happen next. So at times it's difficult to trust him as he wants the best for me. After I've calmed down he will then reason out with me rationally. I don't do rational thinking at my lowest point :)
I'm thankful for the people that has brought me down to my lowest point. It has only opened my eyes and heart about the life I have been leading. Like I said, we are told to share our problems. But what people forget to say is "don't share it with human beings!". Just imagine, when you are carrying a bag full of items and you need to stop because you're tired but at the same time you want to continue your journey. What would you do? You'd find a person to help you carry the load whilst you take a breather. So, what if this person you pass your load onto is a weak person? Of course they could not carry the load for long. They then pass it on to another person and it carries on.
It's same with problems. You tell a person about it and EXPECT that person not to tell anyone. But this person might not have that strong willpower to keep it to him/herself. It then spills to another and carries on. This is how gossips and backbiting happens. You don't mean to do it but you have your own problem to deal with on top of another being load on you. So the cycle begins. One story passed to another and another. At this point, think, would that story remain as how it is? Of course not! Everyone have their own imaginations. People tend to reconstruct what is being said or told to them according to their own experience. Story becomes distorted, people become upset. We are all human beings. We make mistakes but the best are those who repent and not make the same mistake again.
What do you do then when you have problems and really in need of someone to talk to? This is obvious but definitely the last choice we would take. TALK TO ALLAH/God. HE will definitely not judge you! HE even have the solution to your problems. So why speak to others? Why spill every single thing to others? Here's another thing, talking to ALLAH is FREE! You don't need to pick up the phone to let off your steam. HE is there with you all the time. When you speak to HIM, the conversation is safe with him. It can never be spilled. So, choose HIM first before others.
For Khairaldin and Layina, my advise to you is to choose Allah first before confiding onto anyone about your sorrows. If you want to confide in Mommy/Abah, please do so. But you have to know, your story will not be safe with us. You are our children, and if you are hurt, we will all be. Please, talk to Allah if you need to let go of your stressful or happy days. Tell Allah everything. If you were to tell Mommy, the story will get to Abah or even your Uncles and Aunties. If you tell your friends, the story might just spill when they come over our house or even when I fetch you from school. ;) My point here is, your story can never be 'safe' with a human being. If you really want it to be a secret, then keep it to yourself. If you can't, take sometime on the prayer mat and just converse with Allah. HE is there. HE is waiting for you to talk to HIM. There's nothing to lose.
Mommy and Abah are currently striving to do just that. We will Insha'Allah guide and help you through it when the day comes. Here's a quote Mommy recently came across:
Don't trust anyone because even your shadow leaves you in the dark!
There you go. Allah knows best, your solution is there with HIM.
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