Ever since I got my first period (around 12 years young), I never had a consistent every-month-on-the-dot type of period like how many girls do. When I told my Mom about how 'abnormal' I am, she always advised me that "Allah will give you a break when HE feels you deserved it". As years gone by, I got used to my possibly twice a year period cycle. I thought, what's the big deal? at least I get to worship HIM more. Alhamdulillah.
Then, I decided to get married. So this period thing became rather a big deal to me because I thought "How am I to conceive if my period is twice a year- once every 6 months?". Mom and I then decided to see a gynae for further check up. The gynae confirmed that I have Polycystic Ovary Syndrome (PCOS). She said with this 'cyst' I might get pregnant easily or I could wait for years to get pregnant (infertility). She also said there is a pill that could make me get my period and from there I have to count the days when I'm fertile. At that time I wasn't married yet, so I didn't bother taking it.
After 6 months into our marriage, we decided to have a baby. We tried and tried but to no avail. Again, I went to see a doctor to get this pill. Even so, nothing happened. About 3 months later, I got pregnant, Alhamdulillah. This time it was our determination to pray to Allah to shower us with a child. I remember it was during Ramadhan at that time. Alhamdulillah, during Eid, I was confirmed pregnant. We were so pleased and was confident that it was all Allah's doing.
Alhamdulillah, we got Raja Khalid Khairaldin. Such an easy going child and Masha'Allah very intelligent and gifted in his own ways. After we had Khairaldin we planned to not have any just yet since Iskandar was studying and have no permanent job. Again, my period was haywire and I didn't care much because we weren't trying for a baby. It would be difficult for us to plan if I had my period since I don't take pills etc. So, not getting period was a good sign. I also read that because of breastfeeding one's period is just not right. But I also read that those 'suffering' from PCOS won't have the milk to breastfeed. So read what you want as the final decision is up to Allah.
I haven't been getting 'proper' heavy flow period for 4 months now. My last stained was during Ramadhan and it lasted for 2-3 days. So I didn't take that as period. Lately, I have been feeling rather nauseous and I thought it was because of consuming too much food! So I decided to go on a "diet". Somehow I felt more nauseous without food. Duh! I randomly told Iskandar, "I wanna buy pregnancy tests just for the fun of it". Then he said "ok, that's what it is there for".
On 11.11.10 (yesterday) we bought the 'pee stick', I tried it straight away and it said to wait for 3 minutes. Within 1 minute, we could see that it was already 2 lines. So yeah, POSITIVE! We were in disbelief because we thought it's impossible to get pregnant without getting period. Since there were 2 sticks, I tried again today with my morning pee as apparently it will give different reading in the morning. Alhamdulillah, it was still instant POSITIVE. We then accepted the fact that I'm pregnant.... Again.
So, here's my thought. I feel so "small" and powerless! Who are we to plan and have the final say? When we were really trying for a baby, it took us soooo long to actually get one. Now that we are not, Allah just shower us with this li'l one out of nowhere. Allah has plans for all of us. HE knows when is the right time to give and take from us. HE is the one and only that knows what our future will be like. HE is fair and will not burden us with anything we can't bare. To say that we are not ready because Iskandar hasn't got a job is an understatement. But, when is the right time? HE knows! HE is the best of all planner and HIS plans will just fall into place. We are so thankful to HIM for this new bundle of joy!
All I need now is lots of prayers that the pregnancy will go well and that Khairaldin will slowly wean off breastfeed and will sleep on his own bed. Alhamdulillah I've got 9 months to make all this happen Insha'Allah. Thank you all for your prayers and well wishes, May Allah SWT shower you with goodness in this life and hereafter. Amin!